what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize