Screwed.edu
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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