He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
