Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.

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(410): View more from Maryland

forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.

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(831): View more from California

Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?

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(718): View more from New York

Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome

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