glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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