why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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