I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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