I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
