there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
