She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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