went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
third nipple confirmed
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
