Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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