This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
