There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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