i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I deserve this hangover.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
