you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
is it fun? or sober?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
