What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
