you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
