was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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