check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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