Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
