i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Never underestimate the power of titties
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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