where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
