Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize