When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
