id be glad to
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize