hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize