When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
