When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
