Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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