When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
