im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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