Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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