"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
