How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
