quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
