Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
