Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize