Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Please don't give away my fajitas
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
