Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
