My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sorry my hands just texted you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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