im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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