He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize