dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
