Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Where is the hickey?
one might say we're banned from that church
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
