if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
