i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
