oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
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