we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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