my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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