just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You can't just leave with hair like that
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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