Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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