i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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