How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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