Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
