Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
