you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize