dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
