In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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