is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Randomize
