It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
