if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
