So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
