you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize