So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fuck appropriateness.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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